Couples Therapy in Westport, CT
In my experience working with couples, I've come to think of the relationship itself as my client. Not one partner or the other — the relationship. How was it created? What has its development been like? What's working, and what isn't? What does it need? What's hurting it?
The answers to those questions come from both of you. And having different perspectives on them isn't necessarily a problem.
What I've found is that most relationships reach a point where they need some updating. The way you saw and treated each other when you first got together may not fit who you both are now — individually and together. That's not a failure. It's what happens when two people keep growing. The work is about adapting to that, together.
What to Expect
Couples therapy with me is exploratory rather than prescriptive. I'm not going to tell you what your relationship should look like or hand you a communication script. Instead we'll look at what your relationship actually is — how it was built, what it needs, and what's been getting in the way — and work from there.
Sessions are typically 50 minutes. Most couples find a weekly cadence useful at the start, with frequency adjusting as the work progresses. Both partners attend all sessions unless we've agreed otherwise.
Common Questions
Do we need to be in crisis to start couples therapy?
No. Some couples come in managing an acute rupture. Others come in because things are fine but something feels off, or because they want to do some maintenance before small issues become larger ones. Both are good reasons to start.
What if we have very different views on what the problem is?
That's extremely common, and it's not an obstacle. Different perspectives are part of what we're working with, not something that needs to be resolved before therapy can begin.
How long does couples therapy typically take?
It depends on what you're working on and how long things have been building. Some couples do focused work over a few months. Others find longer-term support useful. We'll talk about goals early on and revisit them as we go.
Do you work with couples considering separation?
Yes. Therapy can be useful whether the goal is to repair the relationship, navigate a transition, or simply understand what happened.